Gobble, gobble

People are constantly complaining about how Christmas is crowding other holidays out.

“Turkey before tinsel!”

“It’s too soon!”

“One holiday at a time.”

I believe I have stumbled upon the reason for this increasing encroachment of sleigh bells into your cranberry time……

Lack of ascetically pleasing Thanksgiving decoration in the marketplace.


I rest my case.


I took a quick pop into the happiest place on earth…Wally World!  What?!?!  Wally World is not the happiest place on earth?  That’s not what the Griswold’s total me, bunch of liars.  No wonder the moose wouldn’t let them in the park.

Anyway, I had a short list of a few things I needed to grab.  I was going to get in and out without fraying my nerves or killing my pocket book.

You know how the check out clerk always asks you if you found everything you were looking for and you mindless say yes because you can’t say what you what to, because if you could,  you’d say this?

“Well, actually, no I didn’t find everything I was looking for.  I came here for a fan.  You know, a little, sit on your desk or on your night stand fan.  I went to your home section and you have a WHOLE FLIPPING ROW of heaters.  Small heaters, big heaters, oscillating heaters, ceramic heaters.  Do you know how many fans you sell in this store??? ONE!   You sell one option for a fan.  A giant 3 foot by 3 foot box fan.  So no, I didn’t find everything I was looking for.  But while I’m ranting.  Right next to your row of no fans, you sell this

and I’m a little curious if you have a huge demand for outside, industrial style doghouses.  Are they really for dogs or does the weather barrier style door indicate they are actually for husbands?  Because if they are for husbands, then I understand why they are located in the home section and not the pet section and do you think my husband will fit in it?  And another thing.

Is there some big ration on sugar I should be aware of?  I mean really.  Who does this?  I appreciate that you let me price match items, but when someone comes to the check out with 200 bags of sugar, don’t you give that person a nice talking to about sharing? And what’s the deal with this?

I’m all for Christmas.  I love the holiday.  I shop on Black Friday.  I listen to Christmas music from Thanksgiving through New Years, but dude, check your calendar.  It’s October 3rd.  Too soon.  Let me eat all that Halloween candy I bought first.  Other than that, yes I found everything I was looking for!”

That might be the last time she asks, but boy would I feel better.