Hi, my name is Kerry and I stress eat Cheddar Chex Mix. (“Hi Kerry.”)
I usually run to the grocery store on Wednesday after work. This Wednesday was a particularly terrible day at work. I work with behaviorally disordered students, and we make a tally each day at dismissal whether we think with won or lost that day. The longer version of Wednesday involves being nearly choked, a broken necklace, a police call, lots of other phone calls and endless paperwork. The short story is…we lost.
As I drug my behind to Wally World after work, I was hoping to make it a quick and painless visit. I wanted nothing more than to make it to my couch and my bottle of Moscato. My trip down wine therapy was derailed as I stumbled upon something better, one of my biggest vices…Cheddar Cheese Chex Mix.
It’s the devil really. I mean, just look at it.
There is nothing better than all that cheesy, crunchy goodness. The Corn Chex, the Wheat Chex, those triangle shaped fake cheese-it looking things, the… nope that’s it. I know, I know, your saying to yourself, “Kerry, you forgot to mention the squiggly bread thingys and pretzels!” Um, no. I didn’t mention them on purpose. Those, I could do without. Yuck! In fact, I stress eat my way right around those wasted ounces of my snack bag. If someone out there is listening, if you could make a bag of just the Chex pieces, that would be the best!
The shopping trip was a rousing success. In and out in less than an hour and for under $200…double bonus. I didn’t even have the groceries completely in the car before I had the bag ripped open and the inhaling had begun.
Then, I came across the most incredible part of the Cheddar Chex Mix. These babies.
Oh My… I’m drooling. I mean, just look at them. They are so completely covered in fake, orange, poly hydrogenated, absolutely terrible for you, processed ‘cheese’ powder, that you can barely tell if they’re a Wheat Chex or a Corn Chex. I’m in heaven.
Shovel, chew, remember to pause to breathe, shovel, chew.
I arrive home and look down at the unmistakable evidence of my weakness.
I told you I had a problem. I’m thinking of starting a group.