Today I am thankful for….

Ok, Ok.  I know this idea got TOTALLY played out in November with everyone suddenly deciding to be grateful for everything under the sun, but, indulge me for just a minute.

I know many people have a sweet tooth, myself included, but for some reason, the things that seem to really catch my fancy are the items that some manufacturer has deemed ‘speciality’ or ‘holiday’ items, meaning I can only get them once a year.

Bastards.  (Crap, I’m probably not supposed to swear when I’m writing about being thankful.  Shit.  Dammit, I did it again.)


Today I am thankful for this…The Dark Chocolate Orange

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What?  You’ve never had one?  Well, let me tell you, you are missing out!  Dark Chocolate sweetness mixed with an orange citrus kick.  And as an added bonus, the treat also serves as a stress reliever since, in order to enjoy your treat, you literally have to whack the candy on a table to break it open.

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‘She said what?’ WHACK….EAT…..ENJOY

‘You want me to do what?’  WHACK….EAT….ENJOY

Honestly, if they passed these out at the doors of family gatherings, there might be less fighting and arguing, more smiling and hugging.

But now, the holidays are officially over.  Tinsel is being taken down.  Santas are being put on clearance.

Which brings me to the second thing I am thankful for in this post.  These delicious balls of sweet goodness are now 50%!  Luckily for me, I have a half empty freezer in the garage just dying to be filled up.

How many dark chocolate oranges do you think I will need to get me through work stress, family stress, and holiday stress until next November?



Dirty little secret

Every night, sometimes right after dinner, sometimes a little later, my kids will ask for dessert.  The answer is usually ‘no.’  Now, we’re not monsters, we do say yes about two times a week.  We’re not against a treat now and then, we are just trying to teach them self regulation, making healthy choices, and to take sweets in moderation.  At least that’s the reason I tell them.

It’s time I let you in on a dirty little secret of mine.  I am a closet candy and treat eater.

I tell my kids no about gorging themselves on sweet little chocolate candies.  No to sticky, gooey ice cream.  No to crumbly, crunchy cookies.  These things are all terrible for them.  All processed garbage.  All bad food choices.

Then, after I’ve told them no and sent them on their way… I break into my secret stash and sneak a little treat for myself.

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What?  Like you don’t have your own stash of ‘mine-and-only-mine’ candy somewhere in your abode.

Now, for those of you brave enough to admit that you’re a closet candier, you know the trickiest party of the whole operation is getting in  and out of the stash without being detected.  I’ve developed maneuvers that would make the Navy Seals jealous.

Wrapped candy is typically a no-no.  Too much noise.  M&Ms are a good, quick grab, but turning over the bag to shake out a few is risky.   Instead one must fish out a few at a time.  Ice Cream is very tricky since it includes sticky fingers and dishes to dispose of.  If you must, you have to wait until they are asleep, deep asleep.  They have incredible radar when it comes to the freezer door opening.  You can sometimes get away with cookies, if you have the TV volume high enough to cover the crunching and crewing.  But be warned, the minute you bite into one delicious Golden Oreo from the package you have hidden with the pots and pans, they come running to ask you a desperately important question.

Due to all of these potential land mines, one of my new go-to’s treasures has become frosting and animal crackers.  If you plant the animal crackers strategically (aka in an easily accessible container), you can open the pantry, grab one (who am I kidding, grab four), open the fridge, swipe them through the frosting can, consume, and go about your merry way completely undetected.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.  It seems like a lot of work just to sneak treats behind my kid’s backs.  Why don’t I just let them have dessert more often and give up the cloak and dagger routine?  Well that’s an easy to answer.  If I let them get their grubby little hands on the goods, there will be less for me.  Plus, I have another dirty little secret.

I don’t share well.