Fun with Friday

I have what one would call an eclectic wardrobe.  Searching through my racks, you will find everything from formal dresses from my prom and bridesmaids days to professional attire to casual kicking back clothes to sports fanatic gear.

Since on Fridays I am allowed the pleasure of leaving the business duds in the closet and sporting the jeans at work, I set out this AM to find the perfect T shirt to go with my favorite demin.

I took a quick look and laid eyes on a shirt I hadn’t worn in a while.  Yep, that was it.  The winner for the day.  I quickly grabbed it and threw it on.  Then I looked in the mirror.

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Although I still think the shirt is adorable, seeing myself in it make it painfully obvious that the shirt had officially crossed over into being too young for me. (Insert silent weeping on the passing of my youth.)

I trudged back to my closet to find a more appropriate replacement.

Yes!  This one is perfect!!

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Hey, I said the other shirt was too young, but I didn’t say I was going to grow up!

 

 

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A Gift for You

On this eve before Christmas, I wanted to share one of my guilty pleasures with you.

I have a small, yet still annoying, collection of tacking, singing Christmas decorations.  Every year, I unpack them from their boxes and set them out.  I yell at the kids when they turn them on, trying to express with my voice how much I dislike those decorations and their jingles.  Truth be told, them make me smile and are the holders of special memories.  I truly love them and I love watching them get their Christmas groove on.

As a special Christmas gift to you, I will share their joy with all of you.

This is Hip Shaking Santa, ala Ricky Martin‘s Livin’ La Vida Loca.  My grandparents bought them for all of the grandkids one Christmas.  He used to twist his hips as he went up and down, but when the kids where little, they broke him.  I still love him.

The is Hip-Hop Reindeer.  My husband gave him to me.  I appreciate his rapping talent and his coordinated light display.  The snowflake bling is a nice touch.

I saved the best for last.  This is Low Rider Santa and his Reindeer Posse.  My mom found him on clearance one year after Christmas and bought the lot.  I’ve given out a few in White Elephant Gift Exchanges, but made sure I kept one for myself.  He’s my favorite!

I hope that you all have a wonderful, relaxing, crazy, chaotic, stressful, blissful, peaceful, and joyous Christmas.  If it wasn’t all of those things, it wouldn’t be nearly as meaningful or memorable!

 

Who are these people?

So I’m strolling leisurely through the grocery store the other day.  Scratch that, I barreling through the aisles, throwing things into my cart, attempting to beat a land speed record because I LOATHE being at the grocery store.  It is a horrible place.  You move the same item at least six times just to get it home.  It’s a waste of time and so flipping expensive.  I wish I could do an I Dream of Jeannie head bob and have my shelves restocked, but, alas, no one has created that technology yet…

Anyway, I’m cruising down the aisle, navigating around the sale items and Halloween displays when I am stopped dead in my tracks at the sight of this.

 

Now I understand being an animal lover.  I love my puppy and my old-decrepid cats.  I consider them family members.  But subjecting your pet to this seems like cruel and unusual punishment.

 

He’s definitely not my father.  Heck, he’s probably not anyone’s father.  He’s most likely neutered.

I get the cut necker-chiefs and even the fancy beds, but this just seems over the top!

Plus, without opposable thumbs, Fido, I mean Yoda, could never hold his light saber.

I mean, really, who are these ridiculous people who would waste their hard earned money on silly get-ups for their pet?!?!?

 

Um…. Wait.  Nevermind.  Disregard.

 

I don’t think that’s ALL you need….

For the past year and a half, we have been remodeling our house an area at a time.  When I say we, I mean my we have been hiring my father in law, because we, my husband and I, know our limits.  I can paint, decorate and hang things really well.  I am really good at putting together furniture with directions, but I’m not about to tear apart a room and rebuilt it from the ground up…even with directions.  My husband, well, he is an excellent photographer, editor, and producer….meaning, his skills and talents do not lie in hammers and nails.

Our latest project was the downstairs, basement bathroom.  Our basement bathroom was so disgusting, we wouldn’t let guests near it.  “Yes, of course we have a bathroom you can use; it’s right upstairs.  Oh that, yes it is a bathroom, but you don’t want to go in there…trust me!”

Now here would be the place that I would insert a before picture of said bathroom to really get my point across, but I don’t have one because I didn’t take one.  I know….FAIL!  Think of that gross basement bathroom in your best buds from high school’s house; permanent gunk in the shower stall, yuck and muck in the corners, crusty hard water stains galore…. it was like that, only yuckier!

Here it all is in my backyard…already an improvement!

This is the part of the blog where I tell you what a construction genius my father in law is.  The man has tackled every remodeling project we’ve thrown at him, and, boy, did he earn his money with this one!  When he tore out the old tub and shower, he found a hodgepodge, concrete mess.  The previous handy-man (and I’m using that term loosely) just dumped piles of concrete and set the tub on it, leaving holes and an uneven mess, adding more work and time to the project to remove and fix.

 

 

With the wrongs righted, we were once again moving forward and my father in law set about installing the new shower.

Here’s what I found on the outside of the shower box.

Ummmmm, I might not be the one actually doing the work, but I think you need more than just those things.

Hhhmmm, nope, still not a complete list.

They need a list that says:  Hey you, thinking you can do this, you probably shouldn’t even think about it unless you are a highly talented, patient, and wise soul that can shoot from the hip and problem solve on the fly, because these projects are never what they seem to be!

Luckily for me, I have my father in law who can do all these things and can create this, a bathroom we can finally show and show off to people.

 

 

 

Super Radar

My children have some type of super-duper radar.  Now, one might think this was an awesome thing to have, but not so much.  In their case, the radar only works when I enter my bedroom or bathroom to take care of some type of private business.  Every time I go in my room to say change my clothes or powder my nose, they instantly need something from me right now.  RIGHT NOW!

On any given day, my kids will be outside, playing in their rooms, downstairs watching a movie, whatever.  I’ll quietly walk to my bathroom to use the facilities.  Within seconds, I’ll hear the pounding of feet, the bathroom door with fly open and I’ll be bombarded with questions.  In fact, it has become quite comical the things they believe are of dire importance when I decide to go “do my business.”

“When is the dog going to go to the groomers?”

“Can we paint my bedroom?”

“When we go school shopping, can I get a new backpack?”

Yesterday, I went into my room to change into my swim suit for the pool.  My son, who had requested we got to the pool, flings open my door with, what he believes, is the most important question on the planet….

“Mom, do you think we need to change the water in my fish tank?”

As I jump into my closet in an attempt to cover my exposed birthday suit.  “Really!?!?!? Right now is when we need to discuss this?”

It is amazing!  No matter what bathroom I enter, I can guarantee the minute I close the door and drop my drawers, that I will undoubtedly hear a ‘MOM!!!’ from somewhere in the house.

Maybe the CIA could tap into this ability and use it in their quest for ultimate world domination!  I could get them on some sort of secret spy retainer….as long as all the really important conversations are held in the bathrooms of the world!

Really??? Again???

The toilet, the throne, the commode (I don’t get that one, but whatever.)  We all use it.  One needs only a two supplies to use the toilet; 1.  a toilet 2. toilet paper.  I know when I enter a bathroom, the toilet is always there.  If it wasn’t I certainly wouldn’t be dropping my drawers and squatting.  The toilet paper, unfortunately, is not always there. 

Now I don’t know about you, but I ALWAYS check for 2 before beginning numbers 1 or 2.  I’ve learned this lesson the hard way.  We’ve all have had it happen.   Rush in a public bathroom, squat before looking, and then frantically searched through a purse and pockets for something to use to finish the task at hand.  My children have not yet experienced this life changing lesson.

This is the scene at my house about five times a week.

Child (could be either one, they both are guilty) – MOOOOOMMMMM!!!!  Can you get me some toilet paper?????

Me – Really???  Again???  Didn’t you see the empty role when you walked in???

Child – No.

Me – Here.  And remember to flush!

Every time I close the door, shaking my head and thinking….. ‘How the hell was that role empty again?’