As it has with anyone, life has thrown me some curse balls along the way. What I’ve learned about myself and others and the curve balls themselves has been really interesting.
You probably know by now that I’m a plan making and a list creating fool. Sometimes I make lists for my plans and vis versa. It’s a sickness really. What I also know is the best way to make God laugh is to make a plan. God is a master curve ball pitcher. Plan to do X and he throws a perfect curve right into your strike zone. Are you going to stand there and go down looking? Or are you going to swing a way, take control of the curve, and make it your own?
I gave up a long time ago being mad about God’s curve balls. I know there is something bigger than me in this universe and I believe I my purpose in life is to figure out, well, what that purpose is. I don’t know everything. I don’t have all the answers, but each day I set out on my mission to learn and grown and be a positive force in this world. Set aside money for one thing, then another thing breaks that takes the funds. Plan an outing for the day and the car won’t start when it’s time to leave. If I was thrown this type of curve ball, God was just letting me know that my plan wasn’t really his plan and I need to change my line up. I can deal.
Sometimes I’ve, knowingly or unknowingly, thrown myself my own curve balls. I forgot to have all my cylinders turned on. I didn’t pay attention to details. I knew something was wrong, but I did it anyway, ignoring my gut feelings and morals, forging ahead, believing I knew better. I swung at a pitch above my head. I put myself behind in the pitch count. The only way out is hunker down and protect the plate. I have to acknowledge my mistakes, accept that I was wrong, eat my crow, then apologize, ask for forgiveness, fix my mistakes and move forward. Personally challenging at bats build character and humility.
It’s the last type of curve balls that I’m struggling with the most. Those are the ones that others throw at you. You have a course of action all in place and someone comes in and makes meaningless changes just to show they have some power or control. Someone spouts off rude, mean, hurtful comments about another individual, then when caught makes up more lies to cover their tracks or tells you, you should turn the other cheek and let it go. (Sorry I just made you sing that song.) How come those who frequently stomp all over the morals and values of humanity, self-centeredly focused on getting their way, are the first ones to throw scripture at others about being loving, kind, and forgiving, but never once consider being remorseful, apologetic, or even owning up to their actions? Yes, yes, I know. This curve ball is just another one like the others, and I have to flow with it just the same. But this one’s a stinger. This one’s a dead ball to the backside. It stings. The memory of it is vivid. It leaves a nasty mark.
It changes you. It changes your outlook. It changes your feelings. It changes your future decisions.
But afterwards, you get up, take your base and play ball.