NNNNNOOOOOO!!!!!

Every couple of years, the geniuses of the world rub their heads together and create life altering inventions.  No, I’m not here to sing the praises of smart phones or robotic vacuums.

Trust me, those things are…nice, but today’s blog is brought to you in worship of the almighty Keurig.

The beautiful, wonderful, divine individuals who invented this incredible piece of machinery should be canonized….that is if they are Catholic and are deceased.  I would support their fast-tracked petition since they have already performed miracles in numerous households around the country….single-handedly uniting coffee, tea, hot cocoa, hot cider, and other hot beverage drinkers in perfect harmony.

We became Keurig converts two years ago.

I love my coffee in the morning and again at night.  IP sometimes desires coffee in the AM.  But other days, don’t tell anyone, he prefers a hot mug of green tea.  I prefer flavored coffee at a medium brew.  IP likes it way too strong and unflavored.  (Yuck!)  BK (Before Keurig), I found myself brewing a full pot of at the crack of dawn and another in the evening, but, all too often, too much was left to go cold, being enjoyed by the drain.  Sad, so sad.

Those days are long gone now.

AK, each member of our crazy clan is able to brew an individual cup-o-whatever.  No more unhappy hubby.  No more wasted java.

Then Sunday happened…..

Our caffeinated bliss came to a crashing halt on Sunday when the heavens opened up, sending 50+ mph wind gusts our way.  One breeze in particular was strong enough to knock out our power for a few minutes.  No big deal, right.  Wrong.

When the power came back on, I set about the task of resetting all the clocks to their digital glory.  After fixing the oven and microwave, I turned my attention to the Keurig and was greeted by this.

photo 1 copy

Well…..maybe it just needs to be turned off and on.  Nope, not ready.  Maybe I’ll leave it unplugged for half an hour.  Not ready.  I’ll try ignoring it for a while.  (Watching it might be making it nervous.)  Not ready.  I know.  I’ll push every last button on this damn thing 800 times.  Still Not Ready.  NNNNNNOOOOOOOO!!!!

photo 2

Ok.  Ok.  Pull it together.  There were days you survived without having coffee, remember, you made it through all those days without a problem, granted, you were fifteen, but you can do this.

I can’t do this.

Think.  What would MacGyver do.

I’ve got it.  I’ll just channel my inner Keurig and brew it myself.  One big hole in the top of the K-Cup and six little ones in the bottom, a pair of tongs, and a saucepan of boiling water.  This will have to work.

photo 3

Ok.  So that didn’t work.

Well, how about I treat the K-Cup as if it were a tea bag and steep my own cup of coffee.  Easy-peasy.

photo copy 6

Neither easy, nor peasy.  More like crappy and crunchy.

With two failures under my belt and my uncaffeinated nerves completely frayed, I did what any reasonable human being would do.

photo copy 9

I drove to Bucky’s and bought a 99 cent any size coffee….plus a second to reheat the next morning.

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13 Comments

  1. Although I am not a coffee person (I know…I’m abnormal) we do own a fancy Keurig (the latest – Keurig View) for the benefit of the rest of my clan. I actually got it on a mega sale featured on the Today show. It’s fancy and probably capable of going to our bedrooms in the morning to wake us up. It does more than any of us really needs. Unfortunately, it doesn’t take K cups. They have to be VIEW cups and they don’t sell them anywhere! WTF? So did you finally get it to work?

  2. Kerry, I weep for you and your loss. I hope your Keurig machine is not a total loss. Maybe you can google the malfunction and see if there’s a way to reboot it. I just made my second pot of coffee because we’re out of k-cups. And let me tell you, there is NO coffee on earth strong enough to keep up with the demands of a newborn! I need an i.v. of caffeine at this point.

  3. I agree with Anka. Check youtube. I also have fixed appliances due to the wonderful help on youtube. I can not believe you do not have a back up coffee maker! I would be heading down to Goodwill in the meantime while you are awaiting a new Keurig. We have not broken down and bought a Keurig yet but I think the time is nearing. Luckily Ralph and I like the same kind of coffee but I like the idea of tea, hot chocolate and etc. 🙂 Good luck with that! Hopefully youtube saves you as they have me!

  4. I loved this only because I empathize with you.
    Lately I’ve been having trouble with finding good organic beans that are gentle on my stomach and taste rich. As for Kerig…I thought they would be a good idea. But expensive. Keep us posted if you figure it out.

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