Hey freako, go away. Please

As all of us wordpressers know, we are daily handed numerous lists of stats letting us know how many, from where, and in which way readers have found our blogs.

From personal experience, I know I used to stalk my stats, seeing how many viewers I had from where.  I used to worry that if a new post wasn’t being viewed, I was losing my audience.  I even tried to study the stats to find the optimal day and time to post, trying to ensure more people would read what I bothered to write.

While pouring over the stats section, I stumbled upon the Top Searches info.  I’m sure WordPress thought this would be a helpful tool to show us interesting ways that people in the blogosphere and universe were reaching our witty words.

All it really shows you is how creepy people are.

Over a year ago, I wrote a blog about my son using a Sharpie to give himself armpit hair. http://wp.me/p1w2A8-4q  I have at least 40 people a week who use some search form of ‘boy armpit hair’ to reach my blog.  I don’t think I even want to know who these weirdos are and why they are searching for boy armpit hair.  (And now I’ve just wrote boy armpit hair two more, oops, three more times.  That number will probably rise to 80 now.  Yeah me!)

The other day, I was stat snooping again and stumbled on this.

photo copy 7

Um….  1. Freako, wanna-be meth maker, please stop reading my blog.  2.  Please don’t make meth, ever.  3.  Oh, and computers register IP addresses and times of searches, so if you want to not get caught, it’s best not make your forays into illegal activity to obvious.





  1. What is weird is that 90% of my Top Searches are “bitter”. One freaky thing that happened is that one time, I posted a picture of the sun and put on their “first day of summer” and on the first day of summer, got a freaky amount of views, about 200 more that my highest ever.

  2. The disturbing search terms stats. Between that and my spam filter, I find so many crazy hilarious things.

    And just to confess, I’m the meth dealer. You caught me. Please answer my question, Kerry. 😉

  3. Well, I’ll never make the mistake and write about “breastfeeding” again. You have no idea the vulgar search terms that show up on my stats page. Let’s just say some involve goats and human beings. Absolutely vile!

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