Who wears the pants

No one could ever accuse me of not caring about fashion.  I keep myself abreast of the latest trends, picking up a few new things each season to try to stay on trend, always mindful to keep my  fashion statements age appropriate.  Nothing is fashionably sadder than a middle-aged, or *cough, cough* nearly middle-aged woman dressing from the teenager’s section.

A fashion faux-pas can easily be avoided by following a few simple rules…  If you are over 12, leggings are not pants.  If you are over 25, your ass should not be bedazzled.  If you are any age, DO NOT PUT WORDS ON YOUR CABOOSE.  Of course, there are the other standard rules about prints on prints and colors that clash, but these are really the most important.

A current fashion trend that I cannot wrap my head around is the colored jean phase.  I don’t care how many magazine covers or supermodels put them on display, I’m not adding this fad to my closet.  My daughter, on the other hand, seems to want to jump in with both feet.  Being the open-minded mother that I am, knowing there are worse things she could like, and remembering that my own mother suffered through my neon stage in the 80s, I opened my wallet and gave her thumbs up.  Plus Old Navy put them on sale online, so I couldn’t really use the “too expensive for something you’ll only like for a season” line.

My trendsetting daughter went on and on about how she was DYING for a pair of bright yellow jeans.  She also liked red, but yellow was her first choice.  So I did what any sensible person would do, I figured I shoot for bonus points and ordered her both.

The day the package came, I was so excited to surprise her.  I ripped open the bag and pulled out a pair of red jeans and a pair of purple jeans???  Purple?!?!  I checked the invoice.  Tobiko (Red) and Sunkissed (Yellow).  (Who names these?  And what would have been so wrong with Red and Yellow?)  I double checked online to make sure I ordered the right color, then called Old Navy to get to the bottom of this.  The very nice man apologized profusely, reordered the correct jeans and shipped them out while I was on the phone.  “You’ll get them in a few days.  Ship back the wrong ones.  Sorry, sorry, sorry!”

Today was Jean-Day #2.  Today the yellow pants were to arrive.  I waved the package in front of Paige.  “There here!”  I opened the package and pulled out….another pair of purple jeans.  WHAT!!!

Back on the phone with Old Navy.  This time, the lovely lady on the other end apologized repeatedly and issued a factory alert (hey, it sounds official) to get to the bottom of this.  I could have saved her the paperwork.  I figured out the problem.  The pants tag has the bar code for purple…the plastic bag they are sealed in has the bar code for yellow.  Mystery solved.  Your factory packaging department messed up.

So I did what I should have done in the first place, I called the Old Navy store a few miles from my house and asked if they had yellow pants, opps…sunkissed pants, in her size.  As luck would have it, they had one pair returned to the store from an online order that was wrong.  I bet I know what color they were trying to order…..

One quick run to the mall later, and I know exactly who wears the bright yellow, sunkissed pants in this family.

 

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