Happy Mother’s Day

As I write, I’m sitting in the glow of my post mother’s day breakfast in bed, surrounded my the few sections of the paper I was given and my empty coffee cup, I had an epiphany……

We are all the best mother’s in world.  Every year, heck, everyday, you hear someone thank their mother for being the best, and they are right.

To each of us, our mother was the best mother in the world.  She was there for us when we needed her.  She laughed and cried with us.  She cheered us on to success and picked us up when we fell.  She was there with a hug, a kiss, or a tissue, whatever the situation called for.  She loved and liked us at our worse.  She was there  with advice when we needed it and bit her tongue when she knew we needed to learn the lesson the hard way to really understand.

Being a mom myself, I worry constantly if i’m doing X or Y correctly, if this or that decision will screw up my kids for life.  Daily I make mistakes, forget things, yell too loud, nag too much, get angry too quickly.  But I also know, I come running when they are hurt, I know their likes and dislikes, I listen to their stories and tales, I talk to them – not at them, I give hugs and affection everyday (even at school or in front of their friends – I’m your mom.  It’s my right.  Deal with it!), and I always, ALWAYS, tell them that I love them at least three times a day.

Despite all my screw up and what I’ve seen as disappointments, my kids still think I’m the best.  They still love me unconditionally.

We spend too much time beating ourselves up, having mommy wars, arguing one way of parenting is better than another.  The truth is the only vote that matters comes from the ones that we brought into this world.  And, if you ask them, they will tell you that you are hands-down, out-of-this-world, the best, A+, #1, WORLD’S BEST MOM!

Happy Mother’s Day to all my fellow #1’s!

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Thanks for the material, Mom!

I didn’t know if I’d have any material for a blog today.  I don’t really plan my blogs, I just go through my day and if something happens or strikes me as hilarious, I roll with it.  Since its Saturday morning, I was guessing that my inspiration would come from something ridiculous from my children or one of their activities, when out of left field (pun intended) my mom scores a home run.

I play on a co-rec-softball league with my husband.  Now when I say play, I use that term loosely.  It truly is a rec team.  Everyone on our team is there to have fun every Friday night, no pressure, no ‘super-intense-we-have-to-win’ attitudes.  That’s good, because me, softball, and winning are not going to happen.

Every game I play right field.  I love right field, nothing happens there.  I have had exactly one ball skip to me in three games and luckily I caught it.  Now my throw back in to the infield was pathetic, but, again, I CAUGHT IT!  In every at bat, I have either struck out or hit a wimpy little roller right at the short stop and have been easily thrown out at first.  I have never got on base.  My dream at bat would be to be walked so I don’t have to look bad while getting on base for my team.  Hey, don’t laugh, it’s good to have goals.

Last night we won 9 – 4, our first win of the season.  Everyone else on the team played great.  Great, monster hits.  Scoring runs.  Amazing diving catches.  Me….  I struck out twice and was thrown out at first once.  Nothing was hit to me, so I didn’t drop or mess anything up.

When I got home, I put up the following post on Facebook

It’ official….. I suck at softball.  Fortunately, the rest of the team rocks!

To which, the unintentional joke of the day and the credit for the material for this blog goes to my mother, who responded…

You know your mother does not like people sending balls at your face!!!

Yes, mom, I know that, known since high school.

Thank you mom for the huge belly laugh, my sick sense of humor, and this morning’s inspiration!

Pearly Whites???

So, my sweet, adorable son comes out of the bathroom after brushing his teeth this morning to show me his accomplishment.

“Look Mom!  I have almost scrubbed the yellow off my front teeth!”

(The boy has had some trouble keeping the front choppers squeaky clean.)

“Yes, bud, they are looking much better!”

“So I can stop brushing them soon right?”

“Um, no…..”

Somehow, I think the boy has missed the whole ‘three-times-a-day-for-the-rest-of-your-life’ part of the teeth brushing instructions.

Just when I thought I was looking good…

So I took a personal day from work today.  I didn’t really have a personal reason to not be there; I just have two weeks of the school year left and a day to burn.  Use it or lost it by the 23rd, so today it was.

Since I didn’t have any big plans, it became one of those “hmm, what can I cram in to not have to do later” days.  I started the day just getting some regular stuff checked of the list that I would have had to have crammed in after work if I wasn’t being all personal.  I worked out, went to the grocery store, stopped in at the post office to mail certified amended tax returns (don’t ask, I made a mess of it!), put away groceries, started laundry, cleaned out the cat box, and made a double batch of banana bread.  At this point your thinking I must have run out of time in my day, but no, it was only at 10:20 am.  (I think I have some super-human, Avengers style housework ability.  Basically, I’m a freak!)

Since I still had time to waste before the Young and the Restless started at 11, (Don’t judge, you know you watch something crappy yourself.  I LOVE that freakin’ show.  I have a problem.) I sat down to read for a while, well as much as I could between switching laundry and rescuing banana bread from the oven.

Part way through my stories, I decided to surprise my husband at work with lunch.  Before I packed up lunch for two and drove over to him, I went into the bathroom to make myself look pretty for him.  You know, freshen up my make up and hair, change my shirt, check how the deodorant is working, etc.  (Remember this, it will be important…)

I got to his work and surprised him.  We had a nice lunch in his office and actually got to talk for about an hour.  He even closed the door and only answered his phone once.  (Scored bonus points!)  On my way out, I visited with a few of his employees and students.

1 pm and back to errands.  Off I go to the pharmacy and back to the grocery store for the items for the BBQ.  (If you read the last blog, I decided I was being selfish and switched to supportive spouse by getting the supplies I know he won’t have time to get.  I’m so awesome, right?)

I rushed home to write an email for the business and fold and put away the clean, dry laundry.  As I put away the last clothes, the clock strikes 2:55 pm.  Perfect timing.  I can grab a handful of M & Ms before I jump in the truck to get the kids from school.

As I’m hooking my seat belt and backing out of my driveway, I look down and realize my zipper is down.  Quickly I think back to the last time I used the restroom.  Oh great!  My freshen up to look pretty for Peter time was actually the beginning of my peep show for the world.

I guess this gives a new meaning to Personal Day!

Wet and Wild

We have been having an unusually warm spring here in good ol’ Nebraska.  This last week it has been in the 80s most days, and it hit 90 yesterday.  90!!  I got a nice sunburn on my front side yesterday at my son’s baseball game, then came home and had my first tanning time of the year trying to even it up by cooking my backside.  (FYI – I’m a tanning junkie.  Since I have the summers off, I spend most days turning my hide into a deep shade of bronze and I love it!)

If you’re unfamiliar with the midwest and it’s heat and humidity, high heat and humidity this early in the spring cooks the atmosphere and sets up for thunderstorms overnight.  The 90+ heat set up an intense 4 am thunderstorm with lighting and hail.  I LOVE thunderstorms.  I find they make for great sleeping, but I could do without the hail.  One huge benefit of the thunderstorms is they instantly and dramatically drop the temperature.  Today was nice, a little overcast, but still in the low 70s.  Great sitting on the deck and reading weather!

The downfall of intense heat is that children, my son in particular, begin to get the idea that it is summer, water play time.  He comes to me today and asks to have a water gun fight with the neighbor kid.  Now, yesterday, when it was 90, sure, but not today.  He’s already an allergy mess with these up and down temperatures.  I don’t need to add wet and attracting weeds and pollen to the mix.  He accepts the no well (mine hear it often) and hops the fence back into the neighbor’s yard.  I return to my book.

I took over a few minutes later to see him drenched and wrapped in a towel.

Trystan, come here.”

“Yeah, Mom?”

“What are you doing over there?”

“We are NOT having a water gun fight.  We are filling water balloons!”

Nice!  I said no to the water gun fight to avoid this sopping mess.  Leave it to my son to play semantics with me.

Next, I watch as they launch the filled water balloons over a sound barrier wall towards cars on the interstate.

As I’m sitting on the deck debating whether I should go inside and remove all proof that he is my child incase the police show up, when he runs over clutching to sticks.

“Mom, where are my pocket knives at?  I want to make a few spears!”

Debate solved!  Son?  What son?

Commando, not all it’s cracked up to be

As I’ve mentioned before, there is never a dull moment at my job.  Today was no exception. 

This morning, an eighth grade student comes in and announces he has a hole in his pants.  He then turns around and bends over to show off the gaping hole.  This would not have been as disturbing, butt….  That’s right, I used the correct butt, because it was just hanging out there for the whole world to see.  After us retina damaged staff members were able to regain to use of the English language, we make quick work of finding this sunshine proper coverage.

Lessons of the story:

1.  May and the pending summer vacation apparently makes one forget of rather important details.

2.  Going commando in ripped fatigues is a really bad idea at school. 

3.  Some images will permanently damage your brain.

Really??? Again???

The toilet, the throne, the commode (I don’t get that one, but whatever.)  We all use it.  One needs only a two supplies to use the toilet; 1.  a toilet 2. toilet paper.  I know when I enter a bathroom, the toilet is always there.  If it wasn’t I certainly wouldn’t be dropping my drawers and squatting.  The toilet paper, unfortunately, is not always there. 

Now I don’t know about you, but I ALWAYS check for 2 before beginning numbers 1 or 2.  I’ve learned this lesson the hard way.  We’ve all have had it happen.   Rush in a public bathroom, squat before looking, and then frantically searched through a purse and pockets for something to use to finish the task at hand.  My children have not yet experienced this life changing lesson.

This is the scene at my house about five times a week.

Child (could be either one, they both are guilty) – MOOOOOMMMMM!!!!  Can you get me some toilet paper?????

Me – Really???  Again???  Didn’t you see the empty role when you walked in???

Child – No.

Me – Here.  And remember to flush!

Every time I close the door, shaking my head and thinking….. ‘How the hell was that role empty again?’