It’s a common experience. You’re sitting in some location of your house, minding your own business, doing whatever to darn well please, because it’s your house and you can, when you start to feel the inner workings of nature calling you. A quick scan of the area shows that all the little people you have brought into this world are actively engaged, maybe it’s in Frozen for the 800th time or they are texting that drama queen from school you’ve told them to stay away from, but it doesn’t matter at the moment. Screen time be damned! They’re busy and the coast is clear for you.
Or so you think.
The minute you steal yourself away to take care of business, they find you. They always find you.
I’ve experienced it. I’m sure many of you’ve experienced it. Heck, I’ve even blogged about it before.
What I present for you today friends, is a sure fire way to earn some peace and quiet and take back the sanctity of your thrown!
Warning: The use of this method will require to leave your modesty and inhibitions at the door as you are about to intentionally embarrass yourself and mortify your children. P.S. – You might also want to make sure those little rugrats don’t have a camera running, as no one will want to see this in replay.
Step on – Take off to the bathroom to do your business.
Step two – Complete said business.
Step three – Wait for the interrupting knock on the bathroom door from a child needing to ask you a completely useless question that didn’t need asking 30 seconds ago but is now a matter of life and death. (Step three is slightly unnecessary as we all know there was no need to wait. Said child knocked on the door the minute your cheeks hit the seat.)
Step Four – Tell child you will be out in just one minute. (Use that sweet, singsongy, mommy voice. It really lays the trap for what’s coming.)
Step Five – Emerge from the bathroom pants less and barrel towards your offspring at full speed in your underwear while loudly announcing, “I went poopy! I went poopy!”
I have yet to have them bother me again while I’m in the bathroom. Of course they don’t quite look me in the eyes anymore and might have to use some of their college money for therapy, but whatever…. All I know is, the bathroom it all mine right now!